12.9.18

Heaven in a Wild Flower

My new computer has low optical quality. Images are often blurry or yellowed. Because of this, I've had to put aside my photography. I take snapshots with my phone for instagram, but the art I was slowly developing, the years I put into learning about light and poetry - all of that I've relinquished. I'm focussing on words instead.

Right now, I don't miss it too much. My dreams for photography were always outweighed by my doubts about my ability. Maybe one day I will return to it when I have a better computer and more courage.




One of the reasons I was drawn so deeply into photography was because I liked taking a camera with me as I went out into the world. I found that, when I did, I had an excuse to slow down and engage with the environment more. People don't understand why someone would want to stop and whisper to a blossoming tree, or stare at a distant hill, or just sit in the grass letting sunlight drape over their shoulders. More understandable is taking photographs. And so I would bring myself into close, quiet intimacy with the world through my camera lens.

I would see how a flower lay against the voluptuous curve of light, a love story that filled my throat with emotion (I learned not to cry because if I did I could not take photographs). I would see the magic in a man's tilted face - magic that was not inside him but it was inside me and I could project it with my camera onto him. I would watch the spirit of a shadowy cave make a model dance, and then the spirit of sumptuous sunset draw her into enchanted stillness. I would see the secret dreaming of a tree.

The world is crowded with wonder. Photography brings us closer than close to it. But words can do the same. I shall try to write them.



and speaking of intimacy with the environment, this post by nonfixedstars is beautiful.

2 comments:

  1. "I would see how a flower lay against the voluptuous curve of light, a love story that filled my throat with emotion"... this is everything. beautiful!

    i'm a horrible photographer. but i love to find nooks in which to sit and unobtrusively watch the world... the world is full of poems and unspoken, lived stories, if only we look softly, attentively, at it. i hope you will have a satisfactory way to work with photography again in the not-too-distant future.

    and how very kind of you to link my scribbles! thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Isn't it funny, I've stopped taking my camera when I go out for a scoot, as I feel it prevents me pausing and engaging directly with the Nature around me... Your words stir so much in me, Sarah, I hope you'll never stop writing them :)

    ReplyDelete

MY BOOKS

In the quiet hours, the inbetween moments and the half-light, I sometimes like to write. My books are made from fairytale shadow and old magical songs. They speak about dreams, lost wishes, longing for something beyond the self, and always about love. You can learn about them here.

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