18.12.17

Great Courage For The Small Things




In times of disaster, we often see acts of courage which inspire and uplift the heart. But it's also true that every day people are being astonishingly brave in small, unnoticed ways. I'm writing this to let you know that I'm aware how hard it can be sometimes, and how much harder it is made by the fact courage for small things is not often recognised or celebrated.

answering the phone
wearing something different
asking for a refund
going into the world without makeup
saying certain words
holding up your hand
admitting your true religion
not eating that biscuit
speaking to the teacher
riding a lift to a high up level
walking past a dog
asking to join in
returning a gaze

I suspect even the most confident people have moments when they must take a deep breath before proceeding with some small, innocuous task that frightens them. We don't talk about it, perhaps because it seems strange, pathetic, altogether too vulnerable, to be scared of drinking cold water or buying a ticket or sitting beside a stranger on the bus. And perhaps it's good that we don't talk about it, for if we dwelt on our everyday anxieties we'd probably never move from bed. But I want to acknowledge that even a quiet, ordinary day can hold trials of strength and determination, and yes, sometimes you are heroic for just getting through.


9 comments:

  1. it is true! and i will be the first to admit that some very normal things are really hard for me. it is so sweet of you to say this.

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  2. We have a saying in Danish "All the little streams make a great river". All the little victories will build you up, and maybe eventually spill into the world. Doesn't have to be a flash flood every time. After all, most of us live everyday lives, the whole world cannot be a celebrity.

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    1. Big hugs and much love to you. I'm so sorry you have been through so much pain and that it lingers for you. Have you had any help with it? Has anyone told you how to stop intrusive thoughts and gently ease them with softer ones? Have you been taught how to make a safe place in your mind? How to breathe and shake your hands, shaking the memories out? I am sad to think of your father still harming you even after he is dead. :-(

      Yes, it's okay to survive and to let anything go that doesn't support us in our self-care. If you are content, then that is good. I know leaving the world must have reduced so many of your stresses. I fear you have taken many with you though, in the form of your memories. I hope you find peace of mind - it is never too late.

      I wish I could take your raised hand and hold it, and give you a real hug. Thank you for your courage in writing.

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    2. Thanks for your kind words. I could not leave the comment up.

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  4. Every day I have to do many small things that makes me afraid. And then I also feel ashamed and alone in that fear. Your post brought me comfort. Thank you :)

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    1. Never feel ashamed of fear. It's striving to keep you safe! Fear is a loving but sometimes misguided friend. Hugs xx

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