homeland

This week, for the first time in almost forty years, I went camping. And, as is usual with adventures, I learned a lot. For example, I learned that, when the bank loses money you were relying upon, and the camping lodge refuses your booking, and the hills are far steeper than you remember, and the only place to pitch your tent is sloped - well, at such moments, the whole world and all its concerns slip away, and you find yourself standing on inner ground.

I was surprised at the state of mine. I believed the trials I've gone through these past couple of years had broken it into an archipelago of doubts, fragilities, brave mountains, wild shores. But I learned too that I have a little Lookfar of my own. And bridges I never appreciated before.




I think often about the kind of place I want to live, the kind of environment I want surrounding me. I dream of more trees, more quiet, fewer neighbours, a diversity of birds. Truth is, though, there is no more important environment for a woman that that inner ground. It is her real home.

5 comments:

  1. The inner ground - a woman's real home. Your words speak so truly to my own heart, as I've been feeling that truth rise in me more and more. Especially since now I have found my soul-home. If anything that inner ground becomes more pronounced. Because if it all fell away tomorrow, that's what would remain.

    I'm not a camper. At. All. So I admire your forays into that world. Always testing, but when faced with a comedy of errors, even more so. I'm not in the least bit surprised you handled it with grace. x

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    1. It was less grace than a black sense of humour ;-) And I'm definitely not a camper, I really hated it when I was a kid and that's why it's taken me so long to do it again. Another thing I learned this week is how much I need comfort. Sleeping upside down on damp, hard ground may have had something to do with that realisation.

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  2. there is a saying: "character is what you show to those who can do nothing for you." which i think is very true. and there is another kind of character, most worthy of celebration, which is what you show to yourself and to others when things go wrong. that is a reflection of one's inner landscape...it can be surprisingly whole. and beautiful...

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  3. This is so beautiful, Sarah. Your words are pure magic. Peaceful, serene. Life can be difficult, I'm so glad there are souls like yourself out there.

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