loving the ugly sister

This is what I believe. That although a woman may be ugly, although her soul may be stained with all the wrongs she learned at her mother's knee or through her mother's genes, a prince still comes for her.

Beats his way through the dark forest for her.

Battles dragons, trawls the aching wind, searches and calls and longs for her.

That's what Love does. It loves. And it doesn't ever give up, or else it wouldn't be love.

The old fairy tales are women's tales, told by women for the secret education of women. And have you noticed, women understand violence. (Not just the violence of a man killing his wives and hanging them up behind a locked door, but also of the beast who forces a woman to stay with him until she accepts him, and of the parents who sell their daughter into marriage, and of a stepmother's jealousy.) Fairy tales are all about women recognising danger and holding themselves strong against it until love finds them.

But I believe Love will find even the weak woman, the ignorant woman, the one with scars and stains and self-inflicted sorrows. Love will lift her out of shame and into her true inheritance of beauty. After all, the message of Cinderella is that souls are lovely even under ashes and rags. Sometimes the ashes are our mistakes. Sometimes the rags are the cruel words we learn to speak, the unkindness we are taught to propogate.

I believe in a story that wasn't told, of an ugly sister sitting lonely and bruised ... and of a handsome Prince who scours the wastelands looking for her until at last he finds the one woman whose fits just right into the beautiful soul-destiny he offers.


13 comments:

  1. oh, i believe in that story too...i am waiting for it myself. too much of my self have i turned out in offering, and never a proper prince. never have i knowingly been cruel. but i have made mistakes. it would be lovely---so lovely--- to find that someone did care.

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    1. Well, although I am pagan, I believe God is the king who loves us, loves each of us - each leaf and raindrop and human - as his eternal Bride. It's the story I see told over and again with every sunrise and in every breeze that touches the earth with loving amazement.

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  2. But ladies - do we really need to be saved? How about accepting our own imperfections and getting on that white horse ourselves? (not trying to diminish Love, I share the dream - just the "waiting" is such a bloody waste of time. We sometimes go about things in the wrong order; "I can only be happy if such and such happens")

    - from another ugly sister

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    1. It's not about being saved. It's about being loved, that's all. I don't advocate anyone waiting around for someone to rescue them. I'm talking here about having our soul's beauty seen and honoured - its a spiritual parable rather than a story about a real prince coming to save us from our woes.

      :-)

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    2. I did understand that part as well and agree. But I see how so many are wearing blinders to focus on that one thing, believing they cannot be complete without a partner to fulfill them.

      Everybody deserves to be loved. Sometimes it's not in the form of a prince that's all.

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    3. I do agree there are people like that. And I agree that often love does not need to come in the form of a prince (or princess). I was not talking about it in this post though. I did not mean a literal prince. And I didn't mean human or romantic love either, but the connection of soul with Love. Probably I was too obscure. (I do tend to be!) :-)

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    4. I meant to say, thank you for your comment. It's lovely to have a conversation in the combox :-) And I do agree with what you wrote.

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  3. So lovely. I believe in inner beauty, the one you can see through someones eyes.

    I've thought a little about love lately, and how it can change us, make us better people, and how the lack of love makes us stiff and cold. Self-love is especially hard for me.

    I started reading the book you mentioned in your last post, and I love it. It's hard to put it away and do other things that needs doing :) Please keep sharing more books that you love.

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  4. I have been thinking about the ugly stepsisters in the Cinderella story since your last post. I do pity them, but I cannot sympathize with them. They had Love in their midst; it smiled upon them and served them and invited their friendship, but they rejected and scorned it. What happens to your heart in this life is a matter of your will and your conscience, not your circumstances. Cinderella suffered her parents' deaths and was subjugated and abused by those who were supposed to care for her, but she did not allow these things to harden her heart. Yet she could have. The ugly step sisters were dealt a much kinder hand by fate, and were favored and pampered by their mother, but they allowed their hearts to become hard and petty. Yet they didn't have to.

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  5. Thank you everyone for your comments and different opinions :-) They were so interesting to read. I am too tired to respond to each properly tonight, but appreciate so much that you wrote.

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  6. Such an interesting perspective and a reminder to remember the humanness in us all.

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  7. You may wait your whole life for that and miss your very purpose.
    Some are ugly, will die ugly, an offense to most people, but the question will be, how did we treat them?
    Like a test.
    The commandment is to love, even the ugly, "unlovable", how are we doing so far?
    Me, not so good, Lord Jesus, help me.

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