I read this morning some beautiful, wise words about soul work. It was a lovely way to start the day. I found my own soul rising to meet those words.
But then I remembered something I read yesterday.
The story I read about a woman who had to abandon her child to Isis ...
And then I remembered the story about a woman who watched her family slaughtered ...
And then, all the stories over the years about women in too many places who eat dirt or nothing but maybe their babies will live one more day longer ...
And I started to feel restless. What would those women tell me about soul work?
For a couple of years when I was a young woman living in the city, I used to be lonely. I sat sighing at windows. I wrote endlessly in my diary. Every day, I sought to understand my destiny better, and improve my soul, by considering myself and trying to grow wise.
I know now that I should have got up, gone out, and volunteered at a homeless shelter. Or read books to old people. Or helped out in hospitals. Or written letters for Amnesty International instead of into my diary. Every now and again I did do things like this, and it made me feel strong, good-hearted - and certainly less lonely. I am a mother now. I understand how doing good for others (and myself) has improved me more than anything else ever has.
Perhaps the women in slums and hiding in mountains would tell me the same thing - that the soul benefits most from us doing love. However we can. In whatever circumstances.
I have no wise summation for the end of this post. Probably what I've written today will stir ideas in some of you and offend others. I wonder if I should rewrite it more carefully. I consider all kinds of disclaimers, apologies. But honestly, I wrote it for myself. Questions I had, tangles of thought, developed into small understandings as I added and deleted sentences. And now I need to stop writing, thinking, wondering, and go to talk to another person, do something nice for them if I can. Because otherwise the love I feel inside me will just lie there, undone.
[sharing with roses of inspiration]