Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Really. You just never know.
You never know when replying to an email is actually important, even though it doesn't seem like it to you. You never know how keenly someone awaits that reply, due to forces in their life you can't even imagine.
You never know when saying thank you is actually more than a platitude. You can not see the pile of rudeness and inconsideration left to weigh down someone's heart. You can only decide, in every encounter with every person throughout the day, what you want to leave in their heart.
You never know how much someone suffered during the war, how maybe everything hurts, how they are certain no one cares and it drives them literally crazy, and you never know this while you're selling them a gun.
You never know when stepping on a young man's foot hurts more than heel on toe because you're just one more person who doesn't see him. 32 children in the north of our country killed themselves this year. One was ten years old. Who aren't you seeing?
You never know how that moment you're too busy to say anything is the one moment someone really needed a word.
You never know why that woman is sitting alone. You never know why that man's laughing too loud. Or why she's committed the worst sin in the world - being overweight. Or why he hasn't got a job. Or why she looks tired. Or why he is aloof.
You never know when you are going to be the one thing that pushes someone over the edge or pulls them back.
Which one do you want to be?
Thank you for this post. If I could have people read one blog post, it would be this.
ReplyDeleteThank you. About thirty people will read it. :-)
DeleteAs they say, only about a thousand people bought Velvet Underground albums when they first came out--but every one of those people went on to form bands. Who knows how many David Bowies, Patti Smiths, REMs and Nirvanas you're fomenting?
Deleteawesome bunch of musicians there :-)
DeleteWonderful, and so important to remember when I'm feeling too harried to take the time. PErspective!
ReplyDeleteoh. i needed this. feeling glum and possibly ( probably) wallowing in self-pity....
ReplyDeletethank you...you are a light.
xo
I needed to hear this more than you know today. The timing is spot on. I will pass this along. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou are always in my head and one step ahead of me, Sarah. :) I was thinking of your first quote yesterday when the video about "First World Problems Read By Third World People" was going around Facebook. Now I understand the point of that video, but I can't helped but be a little miffed by it. Just because I have money enough for food and a roof over my head, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when my father calls me up and tells me what a disappointment I am, you know what I mean?? I think many of those people that are complaining a blue streak when their wi-fi goes out are *really* upset inside that their friend just backstabbed them, or they don't get the love and acceptance they need from their parents, or they failed a test that in this first world really *can* make a difference especially if it means their mom will now not talk to them for a week, etc.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the tangent! I'm agreeing with you in a very roundabout way, lol. I wish my words had beauty like yours do!
Amy, thank you with all my heart! I am so grateful for your wisdom this morning.
DeleteAs I was watching that video, which I loved, a tiny thread of "but" was going through me. I squelched it of course. BUT what you say here is true.
Thinking out loud ...
When our wifi went out recently, and I spent hours on the phone trying to get it fixed, we were really upset. The internet is our connection with the world. For me, I connect with kindred spirits - people I can not find in my own milieu. It's also our place of education and news. And its our phone book, our bus timetable, our telephone, etc. We are grateful to have clean drinking water AND we need our internet. Ten years ago, we didn't. But the world is different now.
Someone in a poor village doesn't need internet - but you know the irony? I think they're blessed the way their children have friends right outside the door. I think they're blessed that they don't need to spend hundreds of dollars to do things that connect them with their community. Yesterday I went to a group which was going to charge me $400 to join what was basically a social group which does charity work and goes tramping.
I think the earthly problems may be different, but each of us is born in a particular situation to help us through our soul issues. And we all have those, no matter how much money we have.
Thank you again for awakening these thoughts in me.
I'm so sorry about your father :-(
I love Amy. One of my favorite people on the internet.
DeleteThat FB video bugged me too and I couldn't put my finger on why. It felt manipulative. Not only for the viewer, but I felt like the third world people were being manipulated as well. I'm probably not being clear because deep thinking isn't my thing (lol?). But I think Amy has nailed it.
Thank you both. SO MUCH. Sarah, you said, "I think earthly problems may be different, but each of us is born in a particular situation to help us through our soul issues." YES!
DeleteJennifer, I agree, I think the video was all around manipulative. I mean, who *really* complains about the things in the video?? And now people all over the world think us first world Americans are even more awful, and the ad campain people *used* (in the bad sense of the word) these third world people to get a rise out of us.
The scene where the girls was talking about leaving her laundry too long until it smelled funny struck me...behind her were 12 or so women washing their clothes together at the river. It reminded me of a true story where researchers found a quicker way to do something that was taking up a lot of time for women in a third world country (can't remember exactly what it was). The women started doing it the new way, and quickly abandoned it, stating that the time they did X the old way was the time they got together as women and shared their stories and chatted. Meanwhile, I can't tell you how many women (particularly SAHMs) in this "blessed" first world country tell me how painfully, utterly lonely they are. Heartbreakingly alone. Me included. I would gladly give up my washing machine and dishwasher to meet with friends every day and feel part of a community, to feel loved. So stick that in your "third world problems video" and smoke it, LOL.
Wonderful point! Actually I felt a pang when it came to that laundry part, because I *do* complain about that very issue. Mainly its because I don't have a lot of clothes so when I have to rewash them that takes time - and then they have to line dry and that takes even more time - and in the meanwhile I am needing those clothes. Also I get angry with myself that I have been so disorganised.
DeleteI don't have that sense of loneliness because I am an introvert, and I don't really do well in the company of women anyway. But I know what you mean.
Also regarding the American aspect - when you think about how some of the nouveau riche in Europe behave with their money, why would anyone focus on America? Most Americans are hard working people just trying to make a good life for their families.
I want to keep "liking" your comments, lol. I think women would get away from facebook and back to blogs if they all had "like" buttons and comments "in-line" and visible like on FB! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm a total introvert too...not sure why I'm so lonely then. :-P
Speaking of laundry, I need to take mine out of the washer before it starts to stink, and get off the computer! :)
yes I have often thought the same thing myself! There is a "quick reaction" like button for blogposts, but it refuses to come up on my blog for some reason. Like those Link Within things which I love - they don't work on my blog either.
DeleteI am an introvert, too, Amy...but I think women need other women deeply. Many of us have found each other online, and it suffices to a certain degree and for a certain amount of time...but not for always. I have been in a face-to-face friend drought for many years and it seemed ok for a long time, but not any more. I have been spending alot of time being quiet and just listening to what my body and heart need to me to hear lately and one of the messages that keeps coming to me is "get thee to the company of women!"...in person, with their voices to hear and arms to embrace and warmth to share.
DeleteBeautiful, insightful post and comments. I am very glad to have read them this afternoon.
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ReplyDeleteI deleted my last comment because I realize I misspoke once I read Sarah's next post. I said I agreed completely that women needed women, but I think I meant more that women need relationship ... with *whoever*. They need to love and be loved deeply, they need to talk sometimes and be accepted for who they are. I do think it's a blessing when you can get it from other women, who can understand what you are going through in a way men maybe can't. I think men accept in a straightforward, beautiful way too, and that is also wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI hope I don't sound argumentative with Lesley, I don't mean to at all...I'm just going on and on to clarify what I meant by the post I deleted in case it was read already.
I'm sorry, Sarah, that I seem to have taken your post completely off topic with all my comments. :)
That is just how I feel too Amy - that women (all people) need connection to others, be they men, women, children, animals, spirit, whatever they relate to best. But some may be satisfied with online contact, some may need face-to-face friendships, some may be fulfilled by a quiet walk alone in the forest.
DeleteWomen can understand other women more closely - and yet sometimes that shared experience creates judgement and disconnection, if we have different perspectives on things, eg fertility and beauty and mothering.
Having said that, one of the best conversations I've ever had was with a female stranger in the supermarket, we were talking about our birth experiences! :-)
I hope I don't sound argumentative with Lesley either, or with anyone. I worry about that deeply.
A really lovely post! Thank you.
ReplyDelete